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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517480">Flashback</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedDeer1357/pseuds/CursedDeer1357'>CursedDeer1357</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MonHun x HLVRAI AU [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But AI is Self Aware, Monster Hunter (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Monster Hunters, Anal Sex, M/M, Masturbation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 04:55:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedDeer1357/pseuds/CursedDeer1357</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Benrey asks Gordon about how gordon realized that he liked Benrey and Gordon tells the story with details.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MonHun x HLVRAI AU [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989187</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Flashback</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This contains 'spoilers' to my au, so be warned.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gordon and Benrey chilling in their room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon is reading a book out loud and Benrey is just laying under his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Hey, Gordon. I was thinking" said Benrey "How you understood that you are into me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" It's just happened. You don't want to know"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Oh, no! Now I want to know. Tell me"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Well ok. But it will be a little bit awkward. It was where we split into two teams after you left me that neck bruise, that wasn't leaving for a month."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Oh, after you told me that you are a virgin?!" Benrey laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Yes..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Ok, tell me more. This book it boring, you are much more interesting"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon sighs.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>-----</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>This all started after we split to investigate two near villages. You went with Tommy and Darnold and I went with Coomer and Bubby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To say that I was relieved that you weren't around, it's to say nothing. You WERE *and still is, but a lot less now* a pain to deal with. Like those annoying konchu in caves. Just bugging me, making me pissed off on a daily basis, and all your teasing about how you and i was fucking. It was so bad. So you got an idea. So few days without you were like heaven on earth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Benrey laying with a pissed expression on his face. This was too big of a description of how Gordon felt.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So these two were chatting with other biologists, how I spotted a cute wyverian lady, who was checking me out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was pretty and clearly into me. So I made a move, awkwardly trying to talk with her. We hit it off pretty well. She asked some questions about me, and I asked her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>"Honey, can you skip that part? Or I'll ride you right now because of how jealous you make me feel."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Don't interrupt me, you wanted this story, i promise, you will like it"</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We meet for a few evenings just to talk. Didn't even kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Last day that we needed to stay there, she asked me if I wanted to go to her place. And I said yes. Because you made me question myself at the time, and I was relieved that ladies liked me too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bubby and Coomer were a little bit iffy with this. I think that they thought that I was cheating on you or something. And that made me irritated. I told them to piss off about it, that nothing is happening between you and i.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Benrey mumbled " Remind me to thank them later".</span>
  </em>
  <span> )</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So i met with that lady for the last time. Say that she was prepared is to say nothing. She was doing everything to get me relaxed, was so soft with me, talking about how i feel and how she felt about me. Like, I hadn't had a relationship with anyone before, and You were the opposite of, what i thought, i liked. But she isn't. It was a dreamy evening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the sunset she invited me to her home. I told her about kissing rules, because I still didn't want to get "attached" while on such an important mission. She was fine with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So she hugged me and I helped her get from that dress. I skip full details about what was next. All went fine until we needed to do the deeds. I just couldn't make my dick to stand up. It was so weird. I clearly liked her, and she made all what she could to help me to "stand up" but it wasn't happening, AT ALL. She was sad, but what can we do? I asked her if maybe i can just do something for her, but my mood was already ruined and she asked me to leave, because i clearly didn't feel what she was feeling towards me. She even told me that this "no kissing" rule actually made her sad. So I apologized and left.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>I was SO PISSED AT MYSELF. I fell on the bed in my room and started to think about ' How could my own body don't listen to me? I liked her, but what happened?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thoughts were rushing in my head, until I hit one particular one. Thought about what you did to me. About what YOU have done. And just about YOU. Your hair, shoulders, face...body. And after that my dick twitches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>AND THAT MADE ME SCARED AS FUCK. I started to tell myself that you just have that feminine figure that I, maybe, like. That I'm not gay, I'm a bi. I started jerking off a little and tried to think about that lady again, so i could prove myself that it's not just "you". I went soft. I didn't understand what was going on. I want to jerk off, I was thinking about hooking up with that pretty lady for a few days. And it hit me, that even if i was thinking about having sex with that lady, i didn't feel any discomfort in my pants or even any movement. I wasn't turned on at all. But I was so horny somehow at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I needed to get you out of my head. Talking with myself about how you are so irritating and stuff. How I can't like men, I wasn't into men at all. Throughout all my life, i liked girls, the idea of them made me, in teenage years, so fucking horny. But now I can't get up from a real lady that clearly wants me. She wanted me, like you wanted me too. And I hit the thought of you and our 'first time' . I actually started blaming you about me not being able to get up. Like you planted something in my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was laying on my bed, feeling angry at you, and thinking about you, how I noticed that I'm actually stroking myself and I'm hard. Thoughts about you made me start to play with myself, without any ability to notice it. How long did I do it at that time? I had no idea. But thoughts of you made me wanted to fuck my hand more. So i decided to do it. I put my whole hand on my dick and began to "knead" it thinking how that was so unfair. I thought about how smug you are all day long, how you always joke around about 'how great of a rider you are, that you can tame any monster, especially good with "seregioses"...' .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thoughts were running wild, while I blamed you for how embarrassed I was. I was so mad at you at the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Benrey starred moan in Gordon's chest. He is stroking himself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>" What are you? Are you getting off on that story!?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>" Gordon...Oof... Do you think, when you are telling a story about how you couldn't get your dick to stand up and </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>I</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> was the one thought that made you hot, I will not be getting hot myself?!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>" I think that is true. Want me to help? I see that you are in a 'full human' mood" Gordon turned on the bed to face Benrey. He is turned on too. Gordon slided his pants down and put his dick against Benrey's and put a hand around them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Oooh, Gordie...you are right, i am in the mood, please keep talking"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gordon started to stroke them both.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wanted to plow you down because of what you did to my head. And suddenly I was thinking about you telling me that 'You are into me'. And your way to show that just was SO lewd. Jumping on me, making all these funny noises, that you were actually enjoying being with me. I was beating my hand so hard. 'Like you wanted me to fuck you' that hard. I wanted you to be with me right there, so i could just fuck you. I just wanted you to be around me, like you are right now. I wanted to touch your soft skin, to see you being a brat on me, instead it just being my hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Gordon is hugging Benrey, pressing him closer with one hand and masturbating them both. Sometimes kissing Benrey's forehead.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wanted YOU there and now. I didn't want anything else. The whole world melted around me. I couldn't see or hear anything except what was going in my head. When I closed my eyes I could see you on top of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And I could hear how you are moaning. Being so loud. With other hand I started to massage that bruise on my neck, it still hurt to the touch, but it was so pleasant. I understand that it's all wrong, but it never felt so right. I was feeling so good, like my body and my mind was teaming up, screaming for you to be there. I even wanted to kiss you. Somehow my rule felt so fucking stupid. I wanted to kiss all of you, from head to the bottom of your toes. And be on my knees before you. Asking you permission to do something that I didn't think I'd be ready to do. Just stay with you home for a week and forget about the world around us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You made me feel so heated because you weren't around. I understood that i missed you in that few days, while i was fucking my hand. I know that I will never tell you that. Just keep to myself how i need you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>"OOH FUCK! GORDON. Fucking lay on your back now."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gordon is doing what Benrey asked. He changed the position allowing Benrey to climb him, prepared his dick and lower himself onto it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ngggh... Continue"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Oh fuck, my dragon...only for you" Gordon puts his hands on Benrey's waist and moving him.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes. I started to understand that it's nothing to do with my orientation, it was just that I actually liked you somehow. And started to understand what you are feeling towards ME. Why you were pushing so much. Is this how you felt all the time? I still was keeping up the speed and strength with fucking my hand. I was, somehow, still not finished. Just thinking about YOU AND ONLY YOU.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Gordon moving his hips with Benrey jumping on him, he is being vocal, as how Gordon was describing what he wanted</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"AAAAH, GORDON... YES, FINALLY! FUCK ME!!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yes I will...ooof...i wanted to hear you yell for me just like that...o my God"</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You tamed me. You tamed me to want to be yours, to be with you. To hold you. Your advances are working, and I hated that at the same time as I loved that. I actually loved the thought about you being only mine. I realized how fucking happy i was when you didn't hooked up with those girls at the bar and how you left me all those marks. I started blaming myself that I left you there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Benrey is incredibly loud while jumping on Gordon's dick. How long was when they did it like in old times? Benrey's feeling of Gordon was like new from that story. It was making him want to give what he was feeling all those times ago. Yes, they are married now, but listening to what Gordon was feeling, what he did and didn't for him. That was something. This time it's become so intimate, so passionate.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gordon rises up, tugging Benrey close to him. Kissing his neck, collarbones, nibbling on them lightly. </span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wanted you so much, I wanted to scream. I never felt something like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I actually pushed my neck so hard and tightened my fist, i think, i screamed for you as i came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was so relieving. Thoughts slowed down and let me cool a little. As I did that I came to the scariest realisation of my life. I fell in love with someone I hate. Someone who is torturing me mentally on a daily basis, who argues with any of my decisions, showing his attitude. I fell in love with you, and I wanted you so much. I felt guilty about it all. Thoughts about leaving the team were in the first place. I wanted to run away and hide with shame. But also I wanted to see you again. Hear you getting under my skin, and maybe shut you up and kiss you. I was so embarrassed about how much I wanted to kiss you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Gordon kisses Benrey's neck, living there a hickey, as he comes into Benrey.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Like that" he kisses again in a little bit different place "and like that.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span> Even after that masturbation I still was so hard in seconds.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>So that night was 'fun' for me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I knew that I will never find strength with me to tell you all of that when we meet. I wished that you will be bold enough to crack down first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I waited so long untill...</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Until you kissed me." Benrey whispers after a while</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Was it scary?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was the scariest and almost most happiest day of my life"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Almost??! Why almost"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, almost. Happiest day was when you said 'Yes' "</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon places his hands on Benrey's face and kisses him in the lips. "You said 'Yes' to me"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey is so happy</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shhhh....shuuut up...you nerd...heat is over and you became so fucking cute.... makin' me blush"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm happy and you are too. You can't deny that"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With these words Gordon tugs Benrey in a strong hugs, falling with him back on the bed and kissing his face. He is so happy with how all of their journeys turned out "And you have become the shining star of my life."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"SHHHHUT UP! This is so Gay"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too." </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Art to this <br/>https://cursedeer.tumblr.com/post/632795622411534336/ill-post-my-fics-one-day-i-promiceand-link</p></blockquote></div></div>
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